At The Altar
by Eliza Loves Yaoi
Summary: Our favorite Mobians accidentally land in a slashy FMA wedding in this obscenely weird dialogue-only fic. I don't even know what I was thinking/was on while writing this. Seriously. Yaoi, T for instances of swearing.


**A/N:** Soooo, random burst of need to write a oneshot ended in this experimental crossover fluffyballs thingamabob.

Dialogue-fics are way too much fun for their own damn good.

Eliza Loves Yaoi is proud to present...

**"At The Altar"  
An Edvy/Sonadow Oneshot Comprised Purely of Speech**

"I refuse to believe it."

"You can't refuse truth."

_"The emeralds did __what__."_

_"You heard me. There's another world through there."_

"This absolutely cannot be happening."

"Can we stop arguing now please?"

_"Can we see into it? You know, be intelligent and do recon?"_

_"No, we can't. So get over it. And come on, when have I ever been intelligent?"_

"We're not arguing. You're just being stupid."

"And you're just being silly. You have no choice."

_"Valid point. I'm bringing a gun."_

_"You can't do that! What if they're, like, afraid of technology or something? You could get us both killed!"_

"You motherfucker, I am not wearing that."

"You'd look amazing in it."

_"Since when has that stopped you?"_

_"Shut up. I'm just trying to be cautious here."_

"My looks are irrelevant-"

"Your looks are always relevant, darlin'. And if they're not, I'll make them relevant."

_"And I'm just trying to be prepared."_

_"Fine. Bring your stupid gun. And sleep on the couch for a week."_

"Flattery will get you nowhere."

"In my experience, flattery gets me absolutely everywhere. And the ass. You just can't deny this ass."

_"You know that's not fair."_

_"Since when has that stopped me? Remember?"_

"Yes I can."

"You haven't before."

_"I stand by my previous statements: that time with the casino in Star Light Zone was totally not my fault! I was handling myself just fine before the stupid police came in!"_

_"Well, if you're really so confident about how you can handle yourself, don't bring the gun."_

"I haven't had a legitimate reason to. But I might now!"

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

_"Fine. Jerk. I won't take a gun."_

_"Good boy!"_

"Because I get enough shit about my masculinity already!"

"I wonder why."

"_Shall we go then?"_

"_Some final calculations are being done, then we can."_

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

"Well, I mean, besides your obvious adorableness and whatnot, you're...um...stillkindajustalittlebitshor t."

_"Wow, you said a multi-syllabic word! Nice."_

"_Fuck you."_

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT-"

"Shush. Give up already and just do it."

_"Later."_

_"Hmph. Bastard. I'm fairly certain we can leave now."_

"Oh god fine. I am going to regret this. So much."

"Yes. Yes you will. And I will relish in it."

_"Bitches first."_

_"Just for that, I'm topping tonight."_

"There. It's done. Let's do this already."

"That's the spirit! Come on, ceremony starts in like 2 minutes."

_"Not that I would mind that."_

"_Horny son of a bitch. C'mon, another world is waiting."_

"dammitorgandidyouhavetoplaythissong?"

"Ten bucks says he's going to kill me once he comes out."

_"Is it just me, or is it really trippy in here?"_

_"Kinda, yeah. We'll be out momentarily, though - ah!"_

"Why did everything just get quiet?"  
"...what the fuck?"

"_People are staring, faker."_

_"Why wouldn't they stare? We are sexy beasts after all."_

"I should probably check this out. A little peek can't hurt."

"...what the double fuck?"  
_"I'm getting the impression they're thinking more 'beast' than 'sexy' at the moment."_

"_I think you're right."_

"Are those fucking chimeras?"

"No, chibi-san. I think they're...ok, I have no idea what they are."

_"Should we answer them?"_

"_Yes. I'm a hedgehog, prick!"_

"What are you doing here?"

"On. My. Fucking. Wedding. Day. This is not acceptable."

"_Is that a threat?"_

_"Hush, Stripes. We were just, um, leaving."_

"You can't be leaving already if you just got here."

"He's got a point. Also GET THE FUCK OUT BEFORE I KILL YOU BOTH."

_"You can't kill me, punk. I'm immortal."_

"_Did ya have to give it away? Geez."_

"Well, um..."

"So am I. Bitch. Also, you're even shorter than Ed."

"_I AM NOT SHORT!"_

"_And now you've done it."_

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THEY COULD GO INTO AN ANEMONE WITHOUT GETTING SHOCKED?!"

"Oh fucking hell! Edo, transmute them back home or something!"

_"Yes fucking please!"_

"_Noooo! We just got here!"_

"I don't know how!"

"Try!"

_"I don't even know __how__ we got here."_

_"Oh right! I can signal Tails. One moment!"_

"Hurry up. You ruined my entrance."

"Nothing could ruin that, chibi."

"_...is that a dress? A __leather__ dress?"_

"_Come on, little bro - wait leather what?"_

"Sh-shut up!"

"Hush, it looks good on you."

_"Not to be creepy, but yeah. You've got the bod for it."_

_"Stop ogling the bride-groom-bride thingy and help me with this transmitter."_

"WE'RE BOTH GROOMS!"

"There is literally no way this could have gone more confusingly worse."

_"I concur."_

"_And we're gone!"_

"...yeah, they're gone."

"What the hell just happened?"

"_What the hell just happened?"_

"_We gate-crashed a wedding in a parallel universe, that's what. And it was the single strangest thing I have ever done."_

"I think we should start this over. And play something that isn't fucking 'Here Comes The Bride.' Or else."

"I agree. Although your face was priceless, I'm sure."

_"What about that one thing we did with the bacon-"_

_"TAILSISHERESTOPNOW!"_

"Fuck you."

"Gladly! Alright, let's try this again."

_"Oh, fine. Can we go home?"_

"_Seeing as how we managed to fry the portal, I suppose we can."_

"I'm about to get married to him. To the palm-tree."

"I swear, I almost jumped the midget. That getup is just amazing."

_"Good. What was all that about you topping earlier, faker?"_

_"Settle down, boy. We have plenty of time._"

~Fin

* * *

**A/N:** What is this I don't even

Welp, even if it makes little to no sense, I still like it. Hope you do too. Bye now.


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